The Art of Bruhmance
by Introvert-Dragon
Summary: [Modern AU. Hiccstrid. Ruffcup BROTP] "You know that I can't hook you up with Eret," said Hiccup. "WHY NOT?" Ruffnut retorted. They were friends. Friends were supposed to help each other get laid. She'll do the same for him. "He's my Bestfriend, and there some sort of Moral Bro Code-" "-Bro Code my tits, H. I tell you what, hook me up with Eret and I'll hook you up with Astrid."
1. Chapter 1

**The Art of... Bruhmance.**

.

.

.

"Ugh. I can't do this anymore Hiccup. I'm cracking up with all the pressure!" Ruffnut whined, throwing her arms in surrender as she buried her face on the pile of papers and book scattered on the work table.

If she had to spend one more second trying to absorb all this science fiction stuff- Okay... Physics may not be a science fiction but who cares... She's dying. Deadlines, Quiz, Essays, or whatever... They can all go suck a dick.

"Nope. You're totally fine Ruffnut... You're just being- you know. Your usual you." Hiccup said, his voice slightly exasperated with her as he continued to do his fun shit-whatever-nerd-stuff called FFXV something while she had to suffer because this shitter refused to let her copy his homework.

And the said shitter was her Bestfriend. She hated her Bestfriend right now. It's not fair how come he can go all chill and fun while she's internally dying from information overload. Sure... she loved explosion but not when it's her own brain... Maybe her twin brother's brain if he had one, but not hers.

"-Then what do you suggest I do, Mr. Hotstuff?" Ruffnut retorted, twisting her head to face Hiccup so that her voice won't be muffled by the papers. Her eyes landed on a empty can of Redbull. _Throw it at him._ Evil Kermit appeared before her, so she decided to throw it at Hiccup, but he caught it... Damn. Now he's looking at her, shaking his head with slight dismay.

Atleast she got his attention from that stupid video game.

He clicked his tongue. "I suggest that YOU. Start taking life more seriously, and enough with your 'Boylets'-" Hiccup shrugged. "So you know- You don't go begging for my help- Like right now with..." Hiccup paused the game, twisting his computer chair to face her, placing a hand on his chin, pretending to think hard. "Everything. WHICH- by the way includes your Boylet Hunting."

Well... what he said was true. Ruffnut had been bugging him a lot to hook him up with a certain tattoed-chin jock who happened to be on the same Motorcycle club as Hiccup.

"BUT Eret is love, Eret is life! You can't expect me to stop aiming for dem' guns when He's the man of my dreams!" Ruffnut sighed, dejectedly. "I really got to tap that or life's not even worth taking seriously!"

Hiccup just looked at him flatly, she got that disappointed same look from her lame grandparents.

"You know that I can't hook you up with him-" said Hiccup.

"-WHY NOT!?" Ruffnut and Hiccup are friends- And friend are supposed to help each other get laid. She'd do the same for him.

"He's my Bestfriend, and there some sort of Moral Boy Code-"

"-I'm YOUR Bestfriend."

"Yeah... the feeling is mutual." Hiccup sarcastically remarked. Ruffnut gave him that look. "FINE. Anyway, where was I... Sooo He's my male bestfriend and Bro Code Stuff. So yeah..."

"Bro Code my tits H, I tell you what. Hook me up with Eret and I'll hook you up with Astrid."

Hiccup's eyes widened. "Wha- What are you saying... Astrid? Oh come on Ruff-"

"-You ain't no fooling me H. You're as obvious as the Mayonnaise on Fishleg's facial hair-"

"Mayonnaise on Fishleg's facial hair? You know you're not making any sense Ruff-"

"Whatever. The point is... Ugh. How do I say this." Ruffnut unconsciously placed a finger in her mouth, chewing on it as she began to think hard. "Everyone knows how you two like each other except for... Well, the two of you-"

"That obvious? -Wait a minute! what do you mean Astrid likes me too!?"

Ruffnut rolled her eyes. "Gods, I swear you two are the most intelligent person I know, and yet both of you are sooo dense sometimes. Why do you think she's stayed single all this time?"

"What do you mean she's single? isn't she and Eret... you know..." Ruffnut just stared at him disbelievingly, before she started cackling then laughing for a good minute.

"Oh Thor almighty! Astrid and Eret? - are you freakin' serious!?" Ruffnut facepalmed. "WAIT- Is that the reason why you're not hooking me up with Eret?" Hiccup nodded. "Its because you think that Astrid and Eret are dating!? - I can't wait to tell her that."

"Oh come on Ruff. Don't tell me you don't see it too-"

"-The chances of Astrid and Eret going out is like You and Me fuckin-" Ruffnut said, voice flat.

"-Don't go there!" A third voice butted in, but the two of them weren't paying attention.

"-And I would like to have another topic." Hiccup added, unconsciouly facing the third voice. "Finally there's someone who makes sense. Thank you for that-"

Aaand he couldn't finish his sentence. It was Astrid Hofferson.

* * *

A/N: I needed to satisfy my Ruffcup BROTP cravings… and of course Hiccstrid… so here's an Modern AU I ended up writing. I don't know yet where this is going but yeah…

Don't mind the title… I really have no idea what to call this aside from RUFFCUP BROTP AU.

Playing with Ruffnut and Hiccup bestfriend relationship was very fun to write. If you guys have any ideas or suggestion for a short scene I can write, feel free to hit me. Just give me time to write them.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** I forgot to mark this Fic as Complete, So might as well continue it. I know it's been too long... but like I said in the first chapter, I really had no idea where this was going... So yeah.

I didn't really get any messages for suggestion or ideas for scenes... So I went with **HappyDylann's** review for this chapter.

What's more to say... Oh yeah, shameless plug - Follow me tumblr, **Introvert-dragon** dot **tumblr** dot **com**

Unfortunately, Eret wasn't as grand as Ruffnut, and wasn't as fun to write either... Don't expect much but I hope you have fun reading it. No time to proofread watch out of errors.

* * *

 **The Art of... Bruhmance. (Part 2)**

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

There was nothing Eret loved more than to spend some quality time in his workshop, working on his beloved motorcycles.

Loud music was rocking in the background as it always does whenever Eret was flat on his back, underneath a motorcycles lift, a bit covered in grease as he worked on daily maintenance, repairs, or adding brand new modifications to his favorite Harley Davidsons a.k.a. _The Original Eretson._

"I'm on the highway to hell!" Eret sang along the lyrics of his favorite song - _Highway to Hell by AC/DC_ as he finished installing the Muffler with one final twist of his screwdriver locking the bolt, a wrench on his other hand tugging the spring hooks three times to be sure it was installed securely.

Feeling satisfied with his work, Eret blew a breath, placing the both tools back inside the Toolbox on his left, pushing the Toolbox away to give him more space to crawl out the motorcycle lift safely, _Very_ careful not to risk any accidents with him ending up being crushed by a thousand pound Motorcycle. Though if Eret had anything to say about his workshop; He was a 101% confident that everything from the tools to equipment, and of course the motorcycles were in top condition. Technical Accidents are overrated.

Heck, Even the small accidents are very unlikely to happen. He hasn't lost a finger yet! That had to be something.

Except when there was a sudden loud thumping sound of someone slamming the door, Louder than the Rock music playing in the background and certainly loud enough to startle Eret, making him jolt upwards, his head bumping on one of the metal rails of the motorcycle lift making a loud clanging sound.

"Fuck..." Eret groaned painfully. Yep, definitely accident proof... the Motorcycle Lift didn't even budge while he felt his vision doubling with the loud impact.

The volume of the rock music lessened from the background before he heard a female voice apologize. "Oh my god! I-I'm sorry!" He recognized that voice belonging none other than Astrid. He only knew a few person who could just brazenly walk in his workshop, especially when there was a _'Do not Enter - Dragon Trapping in works!'_ sign at door.

"Soil my britches Dude! You could've been any more surprising! I'm working under heavy steel right here!" Eret cursed, irritated, rubbing the swollen spot of his forehead, wincing as his fingers applied pressure on it.

Eret was pissed. Like real _pissed_. He already hated it enough when someone disturbs his quality time with his motorcycles, and he was not only disturbed - He almost had an accident. A fucking accident that involved him working on not just any other of his motorcycles. It was _The Original Eretson._ Friends or not, He was not going to let this one slide.

But the look on look Astrid's face was enough for all the irritation he felt to instantly fade. He knew Astrid like a little sister, and he was damn sure something was wrong.

Eret took a deep sigh. Looked like this situation called for Bro-duties(self-proclaimed) - He's gonna have to let this one slide. He slowly crawled out under the motorcycle lift, Astrid offered a hand which he gladly took making it easier for him to crawl out. Once he was completely out of the motorcycle lift, He stood straight up, stretching his limbs, groaning both in relief and discomfort with his head still feeling slightly dazed.

"What's wrong Astrid? You're back early..." Eret asked, while he searched the room for his towel which was probably laying somewhere. He found it on top of his work table, conveniently beside a bottled water. He slightly dampened the towel with the water, wiping some grease and sweat on his face then his hands before randomly tossing the towel somewhere in the room.

"I-It's Hiccup." Astrid said, as she starts pacing while fanning her hands to her face. She was biting her lip in a way Eret couldn't decide whether he should be worried or not. Either way he's knew she was distressed. Whatever it was... Eret knew it wasn't a good sign. _Girls._

"Well? What of him?" Eret asked cautiously, trying to sound casual despite feeling worried himself.

Astrid stopped pacing. "I just heard... That H-He..." Astrid choked, taking a deep breath, unable to finish the sentence.

Eret paled. What happened to his little bro bestfriend. Did he get another accident... Hiccup was always clumsy but not when on he was a bike, and they both knew the risks of motorcycle riding, and He knew how Hiccup wasn't the safest rider with all the bat-shit crazy stunt he pulled on his custom made epic _NightFury_ Bike.

It couldn't be that... He-

"-He likes me..." Astrid said meekly.

Oh. _Oh._ Well, nothing new. He got worried sick for nothing. Eret let out a long-drawn sigh of relief before opening his mouth again. "Well... that's old news for me." He muttered quietly to himself.

"What do you mean old news!?" Astrid head snapped to his direction, her eyes on him felt dangerously scary all of a sudden.

"Well... I've always seen the way he looks at you, and I'm telling you as a man like him... I know that kind of look." Eret looked the same way at his motorcycles... He'd recognize that look whenever his face was reflected on _Eretson's_ shiny metal plate every time he polished it.

"You could have always told me, and you call yourself my Wingman." Astrid snorted.

"-And what? Miss out on all the embarrassing moment Astrid Hofferson trying all those Eyebrows fluttering, Hips swaying stuff she read from girly magazines to make Hiccup look her." Eret said, raising his brows teasingly at her.

Astrid looked completely red, he was not sure though if it was one of having urges to murder him or utter mortification of being caught. "How did you know! T-that obvious?"

"Apparently to everyone yes, Hiccup... I'm not so sure about him. It may not look like it but Hiccup's pretty dense and quite the wuss, the chances are you gonna have to make a move yourself-"

"-I asked him to take me on a date." Astrid said.

"Well, took you two long enough..." Eret shrugged. Astrid glared at him, making him cower for a second, then she nodded for him to continue. "So... why the long face?" Eret continued.

"You wouldn't understand." She sighed.

"Try me."

"Fine..." Astrid submitted, rolling her eyes. There she was, back to usual Astrid again.

"Well..." Astrid started, appearing to be sheepish. "It was mostly out of impulse- You know... I came in out of nowhere then told him to take me on a _Date_."

"I don't see any problem with that-"

Astrid cut him off. "-Remember when I said that I only heard that he liked me... I may also heard other things." Astrid shrugged. " _Things._ that I may not supposed to overhear."

"Mhm. I'm listening, Go on." Eret nodded, waiting for her to continue.

"Can you seriously believe that, Hiccup. Of all person. Thought that I. WAS. DATING. YOU-" Astrid exclaimed, her face making an over-the-top disgusted expression.

"Ouch... Come on what's so bad about me compared to that Hiccup of yours-" Eret challenged.

"-Let's start with your taste on music... No offense, but I don't like it." Astrid said, making a point to roll her eyes.

"Hey! the classics are the best kind of music!" Eret said, faking a hurt expression, making Astrid roll her eyes more.

"Whatever. You should know that I'm not into the jockish type-" Astrid continued.

"-Hiccup is a jock!"

"Hiccup is an athlete. Big difference." Astrid pointed out. Eret wanted to protest but Astrid's glare didn't let him. "See? I told you. You wouldn't understand."

Eret shrugged, raising his hand in surrender. "You still haven't told me the problem." Eret reminded.

"We might have a bigger problem in hand than my date..." Astrid said, smiling wryly, appearing to be hesitant.

Whatever in Thor's name this problem in hand was. Eret gulped. His gutfeel didn't like where this was going.

"Remember Ruffnut?" Astrid asked, her voice quieter than usual.

A loud groan escaped Eret's mouth the moment that she-devil's name entered his ears.

"I may have... you know- hooked you up in a double date."

Oh no... Definitely not good. "So... what does this have to do with Ruffnut-" His eyes widened. "-No... NO! Definitely NO! Astrid."

"It's already set... So deal with it. Me and Hiccup plus You and Ruffnut. Double date."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! Reviews would be greatly appreciated.**

 **How do you think the Double date will go? IF you have any idea at all or suggestion leave a REVIEW or MESSAGE me please! I still have no idea where this is going.**


End file.
